devoblog: Brian Pendergast

2Josh • 25th Oct 2005 • blog entries, devoblog

I own a 1997 Mitsubishi Mirage Coupe and it has white paint underneath the brown speckled dirt stains from days gone by. It belonged to wife’s (Sarah) late brother Patrick before his passing on March 14, 2003. The car itself isn’t much. It fits the age-old description of a means to an end (think: “point A to point B�). That was until I started driving it on the freeway with much more frequency.

(here’s my “theres-no-way-you’ll-get-to-know-me-by-this-intro-but-I’ll-try-anyway� intoduction): Brian Pendergast. Follower of Jesus. Husband to Sarah (4+ years). Father to Koen (10 mo.). Pastor to Students (Kent Cov Church). Grad school student (hence the freeway driving of late)…oh and yes, friend to Josh and Lydia.

So back to my freeway driving. My little white car enjoys the freeway for the most part. But for some reason, when I get the urge to travel between 63-75 miles per hour, the car shakes. And it’s most noticeable while holding the steering wheel. I used to be fine with this mild form of vehicle abuse, but things have since changed.

You see, as I said before, my car isn’t much. It has no hubcaps, no power windows, the seats are ripped, and it doesn’t smell like roses. And as much as I like the idea of having a car that everyone looks at and envies like a green monster, it’s the inside that matters to me. The inside-inside. If your shopping cart runs into my door, hey, it’s no biggie. If you break my rear-view mirror, no sweat, who uses those anyway? But the heart and soul (and movement and true beauty) of my car is the engine. From a Car Guy’s perspective even the engine isn’t much, but from the owner’s (or borrower’s) perspective it’s the livelihood of transportation.

Patrick was the same way. He didn’t ooze beauty like a brand new BMW, he wasn’t naturally envied by our world. But he had (and has) a heart of gold. His is a beauty that our world needs more of. We all have torn seats in our lives, we’re all missing some hubcaps, and we all definitely have some smells that can’t be described with verbal words, but only by body language. But it’s interesting that we choose to take care of those abnormalities first and foremost. We miss the point: how are we being kind to our heart? How are we being kind to the hearts of others?

For those of you looking for the overtly spiritual “point� of this, here’s a Bible verse from the Message to look up (I Peter 2:2). But hopefully we can realize that anything involving the heart in utterly spiritual. Anything involving our “engine� is a picture of God (made in His image). Patrick was very spiritual. He knew that kindness of heart mattered.

I wonder if we underestimate the power of kindness. Or we pervert its power by dishing out kindness to others like we’re some sort of soup kitchen for the homeless and forget to show kindness to ourselves. We forget to set up boundaries. We think that “turn the other cheek� means “treat yourself like crap.�

Or maybe we’re really good at being kind to ourselves, but we haven’t figured out that there actually is a world out there: a world of evil, a world where people are hungry, a world with death, a world where little girls are forced into prostitution. Is kindness the answer? I don’t know. But I wonder if kindness to others and kindness to self will lead us toward true compassion. And I wonder if true compassion will lead us toward the reconciliation and restoration of the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom that is both “here and now� and “yet to come.�

As I write this, I’m thinking about my freeway driving. I mostly drive 62 miles per hour when on the freeway nowadays. It’s a small chance for me to show kindness to Patrick and kindness to his car. And it’s a reminder of how essential it is for me to show kindness to my own heart. Yeah, it’s not much. But it’s a start.